Good dealings of wife with in-law relatives: The wife should respect, serve and deal nicely with her in-laws, particularly with the father, mother, brother and sister of her husband. Dealing nicely with the relatives of husband is actually nicely dealing with husband himself.
Dealing well with the relatives of husband develops love and affection towards her in the heart of those relatives. She should particularly treat well with her parents-in-law, as they are the people who selected her as their daughter-in-law and they are more worthy to be respected because they are elder in age, experience and status.
The husband is responsible for serving his parents but the outdoor work does not let him serve them as goodly as he should. If the wife serves them, she actually helps her husband and it will develop love and affection towards her in his heart and the home will be peaceful and pleasant and due to it each one will be pleased. Moreover, if the husband serves his parents, the wife should not feel offended and if the husband serves and deals goodly with his parents and other relatives, she should never hinder him from doing so-
Good dealings with sister-in-law
Sayyidnā Jābir (rz) narrated: “Allah’s Messenger (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said to me, “Have you got married, O Jabir?” I replied, “Yes.” He asked “What, a virgin or a matron?” I replied, “Not a virgin but a matron.” He said, “Why did you not marry a young girl who would have fondled with you?” I replied, “O Allah’s Messenger (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam)! My father was martyred on the day of Uḥud and left nine (orphaned) daughters who are my nine sisters; so I disliked to have another young girl of their age, but (I sought) an (elderly) woman who could comb their hair and look after them.” The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, “You have done the right thing-
Ḥāfiẓ Ibn Ḥajar, the commentator of Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī, says
This ḥadīth indicates that the wife should serve her husband, his parents, brothers, sisters and the stepchildren. It is though not obligated on her to do so but the wives in the era of the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) would serve her husband and his relatives. It is a good habit of a righteous woman. This was the reason why the Messenger of Allah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said to Jābir that he had done a good job and then the Messenger (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) supplicated for him-
Good dealings with stepchildren
It was narrated that ʿĀ’ishah and Umm Salamah said: “The Messenger of Allah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) commanded us to prepare Fāṭimah (for her wedding) and take her to ʿAlī. We went to the house and sprinkled it with soft earth from the land of Baṭḥā’. Then we stuffed two pillows with (date-palm) fiber which we picked with our own hands. Then we offered dates and raisins to eat, and sweet water to drink. We went and got some wood and set it up at the side of the room, to hang the clothes and water skins on. And we never saw any wedding better than the wedding of Fāṭimah-
Aunty of Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam Hazrat Asama (raziallahuanha) narrated, During weding of Hazrat Fatima(raziallahuanha) , prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) was present in the house.Prophet(Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) saw a shadow in the house, he said who is there ?, I said ‘Asma’, he said Asma binte Umais ? I replied yes Rasoolullah(Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam).I have come to serve you.
Rasoolullah(Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said , yes during marriage any aged women should be present at home, so that If she needs something , she can provide her. Then Rasoolullah(Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) made dua for me and Rasoolullah(Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) loved this act of mine very much-Good dealings of wife with in-law relatives
When Fāṭimah was in the agony of death
Umme Salamah narrated: When Fāṭimah (ra) was in the agony of death. I myself went to nurse her. One day she felt better asked me for water while ʿAlī was out. I provided water and then she took bath goodly as she would usually do and then asked for new clothe. I gave her. She wore it and then said to set the bed in the middle of the house. I did it. She lied down facing the direction of Qiblah and put her hand under her face and said: “I am going to die. So, do not bath me and put off my clothe, for I have done and put on a new clothe.” Then she died. When Sayyidnā ʿAlī (rz) came home, I informed him of her death-
The wives of the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wallam) had no sister or mother-in-law. But the aforesaid incidents imply the importance of good behaviour of wife with mother-in-law, sister-in-law and other in-laws. It also points out that when good dealing with the youngers is a moral duty, the good behaviour of wife with her husband’s parents, who are elder in age and weak and who are more deserving of getting their rights on her husband, will be more appreciated. So, the wife should serve her husband’s parents considering them her own parents. They will supplicate for her and in this Allah will be pleased and the husband will also be happy with her-
Good dealings with relatives of the husband
Ā’ishah, the Mother of all Believers, narrated: “The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) wanted to wipe the running nose of Usāmah ibn Zayd.” ʿĀ’ishah (ra) said: “Leave it to me so that I may be the one to do it.” He said: “O ʿĀ’ishah! Love him, for verily I love him-
Usāmah was the son of Zayd bin Ḥārithah and of the age of the Prophet’s grandchildren. The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) would love him as much as he would love his both grandchildren (Ḥasan and Ḥusayn). He was well known as “the love of the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam)”. Wiping the running nose of the adopted grandson, Sayyidah ʿĀ’ishah (rz) gave a lesson to the daughters of the Muslim ummah that when it comes to clean the child of their husbands’ relatives, they should do it pleasantly. This is also a kind of service towards their husbands. This will give rise to create love and affection towards them in the heart of their husbands-
Respecting in-laws
Sayyidah ʿĀ’ishah (rz)was very generous. She would spend all the wealth shortly after she would get. Looking at the situation, ʿAbdullāh ibn Zubayr, her nephew, said: “She should be restrained to spend so generously.” When she came to know of it, she moved to anger and said: “Will I be restrained to spend generously? And she swore by Allah not to talk to him. When ʿAbdullāh ibn Zubayr came across of the anger and swear, he tried a lot to please her in any way; but she did not forgive and stopped talking to him. At last, ʿAbdullāh Ibn Zubayr (ra) asked some people of Quraysh and the maternal relatives of the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) to recommend her. So she started talking to him
Hazrat Aisha(raziallahuanha) was very kind on maternal relatives of prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam), because of the relations of Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) and because of breaking the oath , she released 40 ghulams-Good dealings of wife with in-law relatives-https://faizaneqasmi.com
