Solution to the problems in married life

Solution to the problems in married life: The Glorious Qur’ān provides a solution if the husband and wife get into dispute after marriage. The husband should firstly admonish her and if she does not follow the right way, then banish them to bed apart for some days.

This is what the Glorious Qur’ān says: “Banish them to beds apart.” It does not mean that she will be set apart from home, brought to her parent’s home or she will be driven away from the room and disgraced; rather the bed will be the same but she will not be paid due attention so that she feels sorry. If it also does not work, then it is allowed to scourge her for the sake of her reformation.

Almighty Allah says: As for those from whom you fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Lo! God is ever High Exalted, Great

Responsibility of the society to solve the problems

If their relation does not get well and the wife is always ready to disobey, then in this critical moment the Glorious Qur’ān urges a husband not to take a quick action; rather it suggests for the elders and the wise people of the society to solve the matter. They are responsible to cool down the dispute and try to reconcile their relation to the extent possible. Unfortunately,

When any dispute occurs in our society either between a husband and a wife or parents and their children or between two Muslims or between two families, leave alone the common Muslims even the religious scholars and great personalities get aside distancing themselves, and think that those who are in the dispute should cool down the matter themselves. This way of thinking is not correct, however. Muslims are ordered to reconcile and solve their problems by themselves-

You are well aware that the Messenger of Allah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) took too much care of congregational prayers and even he did not miss any congregational prayer unless he became helpless. But, in order to cool down the dispute between two Muslims of Banū ʿAwf, he delayed his,Aṣr ṣalāh while Sayyidnā Bilāl (rz) requested Abū Bakr (rz) to lead the ṣalāh

In order to cool down the dispute between Muslims , he delayed

This incident highlights the importance of pacifying and cooling down the mutual disputes and maintaining the unity among Muslims. Particularly, cooling down the dispute between a husband and his wife, and reconciling is of more importance because the Messenger of Allah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) has said that the Satan is pleased the most when he succeeds in separating a wife from her husband

Therefore, the religious scholars and responsible personalities, whether they are men or women, are religiously bound to try to address the problems and try to reconcile between them and consider it their religious responsibility. But if the dispute between both husband and his wife comes to the extent that they themselves are unable to reconcile, then they should set a go-between as the Glorious Qur’ān says: “And if you fear a breach between them twain (the man and wife), appoint an arbiter from his folk and an arbiter from her folk. If they desire amendment, God will make them of one mind. Verily! God is All-Knowing, All-Aware.

Mawlānā Thānwī (ra) writes in the explanation of the verse

If you fear that the husband and wife are unable to solve the matter, then send one arbitrator from his people and one from her people, who are good to solve the matter, for the sake of searching for down-to-earth solution. They will make him/her understand if he/she makes mistake and Allah will bring about harmony between them if they are eager to follow the right path. Surely Allah is all knowing and all aware. He well knows of all the ways of reconciliation and He will reveal the solution on the hearts of arbitrators if they have good intention-Solution to the problems in married life.